They wanted a different box — so I boxed the original box

The UPS clerk insisted the return “had to be in a different box.” Fine. I obeyed with the kind of literal virtuosity usually reserved for speedrun glitches: I took the box the item arrived in (arrived, not shipped — because someone likes administrative nuance) and placed it inside a different box. Like Russian-doll packaging for the soul.

The exhibit (inventory list): 1) original Amazon box, 2) carry bag that still lived inside it, 3) a larger box that now contained the original box and my sense of dignity. Commenters appreciated the economy of the move — “still better packed than some of the Amazon deliveries I’ve received” — and one pointed out Amazon’s alternate strategy: “just scan and drop” (a corporate haiku that yields maximum ambiguity and minimal boxing supplies). Another confessed to returning a USB stick in a box that could have housed a microwave, proving this is a widespread, time-honored tactic.

Root-cause analysis: corporate policy + frontline micro-enforcement = an invitation for literal compliance. Outcome: policy checkbox ticked, UPS worker mildly inconvenienced, me 100% certain I had sent a history-of-ridiculous-returns artifact into the postal stream. If you want to beat bureaucracy, don’t argue — honor it so precisely it becomes absurd. The rulebook loses when you read it like a child and follow every sentence to the letter.