I followed Kohl’s price-match policy so hard I got a refund and a personality transplant

I bought a vacuum from Kohl’s in October, paid $250, got $50 in Kohl’s Cash—basically they handed me Monopoly money and said, “Happy cleaning.” Then Black Friday rolled around and the same vacuum was cheaper. Kohl’s: “We don’t price match Black Friday.” Me: reads the policy like it’s a Will.

So I did the thing Reddit loves: I followed the policy with the devotion of someone reading assembly instructions for a dating app. Return? Check. Re-buy at sale price? Check. Keep your Kohl’s Cash like proof you’re a responsible adult? Check. It wasn’t drama. It was paperwork with better lighting.

People in the thread were basically like, “This is retail chess.” One guy’s dad ordered a giant TV and waited for the sale—patience as a financial strategy. A customer-service commenter actually encouraged creative saving, which is the corporate equivalent of a wink. Retail love language: loopholes.

I walked out with the lower price and my dignity mostly intact. Did I say mostly? Fine—one shelf of receipts, three polite hellos, and a Kohl’s employee who now knows me by my carefulanner. Comedy. We having fun?